He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
