I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
