accomplished twins. life is a go
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
