that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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