Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
