Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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