I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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