It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize