whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
