the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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