If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
