I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
is it fun? or sober?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
