What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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