i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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