we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My pussy is not your playground.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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