he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
