just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
