You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
