I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
