if you like me you must not know who I am
More tranny stories later!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
