There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize