We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We need to get me chipped asap
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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