and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
