is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize