Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
