if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
