Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
