her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
