seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
