That's intense
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and she was petting her beer can
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
