forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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