How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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