Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
