Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize