She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
