Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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