so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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