Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
