no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
