great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
