I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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