Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
