Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
