bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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