If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
