He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
