Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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