Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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