You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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