I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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