Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
