We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
