I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so let's talk penis.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
