So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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