yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
