I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
