these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize