Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she smelled like a LAN party
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
