It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
