Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize